THINGS THAT GIVE ME SERIOUS ANXIETY

1. DRIVING ON THE FREEWAY

I love being on the freeway. Windows down, wind tousling my hair, music blasting while I admire all of the beautiful city lights. But, that's only when someone else is driving. I feel safer when other people drive because they most likely know what they're doing. Me? I get on the freeway, and I'm clouded in an instant panic. Because there's so many cars! And oh my god what is that person doing? Why are you driving 90 miles per hour?  Why is everyone slamming on their brakes? How do I get into the next lane when they won't let me over?!? Oh fuck I missed my exit!!! Now what do I do? Why is this person honking at me? WHAT DID I DO WRONG.

2. SOCIAL SITUATIONS WHERE I ONLY KNOW ONE PERSON

Extra points if it's in a place I've never been to before. Being out of my element gives me a rush in a VERY BAD WAY. Anyone who knows me would say I'm outgoing, charming, and charismatic. But, if I'm in a new environment and only know one person, I suddenly forget how to be my regular charming self. Inside my head is something like this. OH MY GOD I FORGET HOW TO MAKE EYE CONTACT. STOP SHAKING YOUR FOOT SO MUCH. STOP GIGGLING NERVOUSLY NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS FUNNY. FUCK I FORGET EVERYONE'S NAMES. FUCK WHAT EVEN IS MY NAME?! But, give me a drink and this will go away automatically.

3. DRIVING WHEN IT'S SUPER BRIGHT OUTSIDE AND THERE IS TONS OF FRESH SNOW EVERYWHERE

Where there is sun, and there is snow, not even sunglasses can save you from the blinding white. Somehow I am never prepared for this. I never think to leave sunglasses in my van because I just don't drive much, so anytime this happens it is thrust upon me with no warnings and my eyeballs are very surprised. They then try to escape from the blinding white by rolling into the back of my head. And I can't get them to stop and just work no matter how hard I try! Because I am trying to drive, this is very dangerous. And because it's so dangerous, I'll start panicking that I'm going to crash because I can't see because my eyeballs are rolling into the back of my head and I can't stop them.

4. NOT BEING ANXIOUS

I have gotten so used to being an anxious person, that when there is a time I am actually not feeling anxious or stressing over something, I, in lieu of not being anxious, start getting anxious because I'm not anxious. It is then that I start making up crazy scenarios in my head so I have something to worry about. This has gotten better since I have started working out, though :P

5. WHEN SOMEONE TELLS ME NOT TO WORRY
LIKE, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'RE SAYING RIGHT NOW. YOU DON'T KNOW ME SHARK, YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE. I CAN'T JUST NOT WORRY. AND IF YOU TELL ME NOT TO WORRY CHANCES ARE I'M GOING TO START WORRYING THAT MUCH MORE. THEN I'LL START TO WONDER WHY I CAN'T JUST STOP WORRYING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. AM I NOT A NORMAL PERSON? AM I CRAZY? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. SEE WHAT HAPPENS?